Loving the Sinner

 This post has been percolating for well over a year, but due to busyness, laziness, and a little fear of criticism, I've let these thoughts swirl exclusively in my mind and nowhere else. Until this tweet:

Happy New Year! Wishing you all health, love & joy in every moment & may you feel love & respect towards all beings on this wonderful planet.

I’ve spent fantastic quality time with loved ones over break & today I’m heading Down Under with an exemption permission. Let’s go 2022! pic.twitter.com/e688iSO2d4

— Novak Djokovic (@DjokerNole) January 4, 2022

"Oh boy, here we go..." was my first reaction. Naturally, all hell broke loose very shortly after.

By now, we are all aware of the international crisis that is Novak Djokovic's visa status and quasi-confinement shortly after touching down in Melbourne, putting his Australian Open campaign in grave danger and at the hands of the Australian Border Force, who seem determined to turn him away at the literal gate. Tennis Australia has mishandled completely botched the exemption process by not communicating honestly with players and attempting to skirt federal authorities, although it is becoming increasingly apparent that Novak and AO Tournament Director Craig Tiley were in cahoots. Politicians in the country see the Djokovic drama as easy pickings for cheap PR points. Australian media has used this story as ratings fodder, understandably so. It's all about Novak right now Down Under. But I will use this space to make it about ME.

I became a fan in 2007. I wasn't following tennis super closely at the time, but I thought Djokovic’s runs to the Rogers Cup title and US Open final that year were incredibly impressive. I also found him entertaining in the way buttoned-up Roger Federer and by-the-book Rafael Nadal weren't. He wears his heart on his sleeve when he plays and, juxtaposed with his technically pristine play style, I gravitated towards him, the first male tennis player I really, really enjoyed, probably ever.

As his star rose and achievements mounted, along came some unsavory... happenings. Some small and petty enough to disregard completely. Some more significant in which I either acknowledged his recklessness privately or played the role of Novak apologist on Twitter. Recently, the incidents are of such consequence that I’d wish he’d just go away for awhile and only show his face on the tennis court, wanting him to shut up and dribble in the truest sense. Should I even be cheering for him between the lines at this point?

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Jessica Luther and Kavitha A. Davidson wrote a book that talks sports fandom, personal politics, and reconciling what it means to be caught in the middle of those two pillars. What do you do with a problematic fave or when your fave does a problematic thing? I’ve learned that it really depends on each person’s tolerance for any specific wrongdoing. Each person has their own scale and can weigh the good and the bad at their own discretion. You can apply your code of ethics how you want, with varying levels of severity, with whatever metrics you choose. You are your own judge, jury, and executioner, and it only has to make sense to you.

As far as my own fandom as it pertains to Novak, I guess it’s still evolving because I did like him. Still do. I think. It’s complicated. I like him most when he's playing or being charitable, and I like him least when he's embroiled in scandal. I definitely do not like him at the moment. I think I’ve landed in a place where I still want him to play, win, and achieve, but I have offloaded all emotional investment in his future after tennis. This is subject to change, of course. Maybe I’ll never root for him on the court again, though I don’t foresee a time where I’ll ever actively root against him.

Back when I was closer to “stan” level, I would’ve wished him the best life outside the court, kept up with his post-tennis pursuits, and hoped a statue of his liking was erected in the heart of Belgrade. It is natural for vestiges of "standom" to linger and it's probably the reason why I have yet to give him the total chop. I’ve outgrown stanning anyone not named Mariah Carey these days (it begins and ends with her!), so I won’t be too affected if and when Djokovic’s legacy is completely tarnished following this unnecessary mess.

But I’m still sad about this mess. To be clear, not sad for Novak: he is a very rich and successful person with an adoring family and following who will remain a very rich and successful person with an adoring family and following when this week is a mere speck in the rear-view window. I am sad for me, as I was looking forward to watching him go for history at his best tournament. I am sad that I just want him to leave Australia, go home, apologize, hide for a few months, and learn SOMETHING from this embarrassment (fat chance). I am sad for his other fans — some of whom I've gotten to know and most of whom are decent people — who enjoyed watching him play and likely won’t get to. And I am sad he is too brainless and hubristic to get a virtually harmless jab that would have avoided all of this.

Serena's Burden

What could it take for me to resurrect a blog and post for the first time in well over a year? Well, only one of the most controversial Grand Slam finals in history.

To very briefly summarize what made Saturday's match into Monday's headlines: Naomi Osaka, 20-year-old rising star, and Serena Williams, the greatest to ever play, were entrenched in a battle for the U.S. Open title. The first set was very much one-way traffic in Osaka's favor, but the second set was a significantly more contested affair. Unfortunately, what could have been a scintillating tussle on the court was heavily marred initially by a code violation warning for coaching given to Team Williams (quick aside: Patrick Mouratoglou's lack of subtlety alone should be a fireable offense). A break advantage to Williams was immediately offset by a poor service game, provoking a racquet smash in frustration and earning Serena another code violation - this time docking her a point in the next game. Furious with umpire Carlos Ramos over the first one, Serena repeatedly badgered the chair, culminating in calling him a "liar" and a "thief." While not exactly the world's most offensive insults one can levy against another, any disparagement on the integrity of an official is considered verbal abuse. Serena, down 3-4*, earned her third code violation and incurred a game penalty.

It was a heartbreaking catastrophe. Serena, in tears as she appealed to U.S. Open tournament referee Brian Early, looking utterly despondent. Naomi, confused at the circumstances, trying to remain focused amidst the chaos. Ramos, unmoved and unreadable, remained firm in his rulings. I've never seen a match quite like it, and my eyes were wet with emotion from the moment Osaka sealed her victory all the way through the end of the trophy ceremony. As murky as the circumstances were, there was no disputing that the better player won that day, one of the only undeniables in an ocean of ambiguity. I came away from that match going over what-if scenarios, thinking of Osaka's toughness, Ramos's rigidness, Serena's inability to get out of the weeds, causing her normally rock solid mentality to crumble under the weight of enormous expectation.

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As we learned from her eponymous documentary, being Serena Williams is incredibly challenging. Tending to a young toddler, managing a long-distance marriage, and returning to the top of a demanding sport are difficult enough endeavors on their own. Imagine doing all three while also being the pillar of strength for black women around the world and working moms everywhere. I do not envy Serena's position one bit.

One of Billie Jean King's signature quotes is "pressure is a privilege." Serena often goes back to this whenever she feels bogged down the weight of expectation. But in the most critical match of her current comeback, you can feel that weight pressing down on her more than usual. Serena absolutely wants this, she wants to erase Margaret Court from the record books, be one of the few moms to win a major title. She alluded to her motherhood during her runner-up speech after the Wimbledon final back in July, tearing up when she mentioned trying to win this "for all the moms out there." While arguing her coaching violation with Ramos, she said she would never want her daughter to think she would ever resort to cheating in order to gain an advantage. In her protestations to Early, she brought up unequal levels scrutiny levied upon her male counterparts.

Serena is carrying these burdens on the court with her. The U.S. Open is particularly heavy given Serena's history at the tournament, so it's no wonder she became emotional at what seemed to be unfair treatment. As a fan, I hope Serena can play high stakes matches less encumbered. I want her to be able to swing freely, move beautifully, and think clearly during the most pressure-packed moments. I wish for her to remain calm through adversity and positive through patchy spells. 

Serena is a magnanimous individual, but tennis is a selfish sport by nature. It's just you and your own faculties out there, not worrying about things outside of your control, including the opponent across the net. Naomi even said she was "focusing on [her]self" throughout the dramatics of the final, ignoring the jeers from the crowd and turning her back on Serena and Ramos in order to maintain clarity. Serena said as much during her press conference: her times on court are rare "moments of peace" she has just for her. I truly wish they will be more so in the future, because there seemed to be a good deal turmoil swirling inside her head during U.S. Open final. It's still quite early in her comeback, but I look forward to an unburdened Serena smashing serves, records, and barriers as she has done throughout her entire career.

 For now, take a bow, Naomi Osaka. Here's to her future, too!

Congrats to Naomi Osaka! I can’t stop laughing at this though #USOpen pic.twitter.com/Kl3HuMbTJY

— surfer808 (@mssurfer808) September 8, 2018

Bernie the Bored

Bernard Tomic is back in the headlines again, and not for his tennis. Again. Well, his tennis has a minor role in his resurgence into public consciousness, but his words, as usual, are the primary culprits in this new wave of outcry and backlash.

After his first-round Wimbledon loss to Mischa Zverev in straight sets, Tomic aired his feelings regarding his performance to the world, telling reporters he was "bored" on court. Moving past the cringe-worthy word choice, listen to (most of) the rest of his weirdly introspective and existential post-loss press:



Listen, I get it. Bernie is a human being, a pragmatic 24-year-old individual in the midst of a career crisis. I was once his age, not sure where my career was going, wondering if the daily grind on the road to success was even worth the struggle. Hell, I'm still there! I can understand that he no longer sees Wimbledon as this holy grail that us common tennis folk revere beyond anything else in the sport. To Bernie, The Championships is just another tournament in which to earn a decent paycheck. Like your performance review, it's on your calendar year after year. Unless you go into Wimbledon with a shot at the title, the magic of the place has probably long dissipated and you naturally tune out of the whole spectacle.

On the other hand, I do not get, nor do I accept, his willful throwing of the towel. Bernard Tomic has been blessed with height, coordination, feel, and frame. He has been granted financial support and various opportunities in his life and profession. This amount of luck only comes to a handful of the global population, yet he goes through the motions as if he's working a 9-to-5 desk job just to pay the bills and treat himself every now and then (even though that's also something to be thankful for!). Tomic has been a professional athlete for quite some time now and he must know that saying he's bored, and playing like he couldn't care less, is just not a good look for someone who, although faces trials and tribulations, is blessed beyond measure.

As much as we want to relate to tennis players and their lives, we are not them. They are not us. Bernie's job is not my job. Bernie lives a mostly charmed life, even relative to his fellow tennis pros. He's paid quite handsomely for someone who's bored at work and can retire at 35 and not work another day in his life, according to him. I appreciate his honesty and introspection, but I roll my eyes at the utter lack of gratitude and awareness of just how goddamn lucky he is to be born with a money-generating talent and to have that talent cultivated from a young age onward.

It seems as though Bernie knows where he's going astray, however. He knows he's not training as hard or giving his total focus to his career. He could, and should, do better. Yes, he is unlikely to win a Grand Slam title, but he could look to someone like Tomas Berdych for some light inspiration. Berdych is seen as a total underachiever with few trophies to his name, but he's made so much bank in his career by getting as close to maximizing his God-given talent as he could. The seemingly disenchanted Tomic can do the same, if only to beef up his 401K. If Tomic tried harder, even if he didn't want to win titles, he would make more money more quickly, and can retire even earlier than originally planned! I just pray he doesn't get injured or else he might have to page through the classifieds ten years from now.

Edit: Tomic has since been fined $15,000 for unsportsmanlike conduct stemming from his comments. He has also been dropped by his racquet sponsor, Head.

Parent Trapped

Young American and ATP #NextGen elite, Taylor Fritz, scored the biggest win of his barely-off-the-ground career, beating No. 7 Marin Cilic (who's been riding the struggle bus as of late) at Indian Wells on Sunday night. I was sound asleep when this happened and missed the post-match chatter on Twitter, but it was certainly abuzz throughout the weekend after 19-year-old Fritz revealed on Friday how his personal life milestones have, or have not, affected his tennis. 

Well, that's one take on parenthood I guess. pic.twitter.com/ikjt8hjluc

— Matt Trollope (@MattyAT) March 11, 2017

Well then. What was supposed to be, I assume, a cute miscellaneous question about being a recent first-time parent turned into how none of it has affected his tennis whatsoever. I won't lie: I initially balked at Fritz's absentee approach to fatherhood. The quotes as a standalone are astonishing, to put it kindly. He lumped in his new baby, a human being for whom he is responsible, in with the "off-court stuff" that his wife takes care of on his behalf. He quotes read as if he is unnaturally detached from his son. 

That said, I do want to caution being overly critical of Taylor, at least for the time being. I'm one of the last people to defend a straight, white, male American tennis player, but Fritz is 19 years old. Nineteen. He is a boy, legality be damned. A boy with very adult responsibilities. Adult responsibilities he's had very little time to prepare for. Let's look at this rough timeline:

1. May 30, 2016: gets engaged to girlfriend, fellow tennis player Racquel Pedraza
2. July 7, 2016(!): Fritz and Pedraza are wed in California
3. January 20, 2017(!!): Fritz and Pedraza welcome newborn son

That's a lot for anyone of any age to handle, let alone for someone who still can't purchase a Bud Light. It's a peculiar sequence of events in such short succession. Also peculiar is the lack of tweets about the new baby from Taylor or Racquel. No one can possibly know what the deal is with the Fritz family, and that's why I'm going to refrain from much comment outside of the hilarious tweet below.

Taylor Fritz raising his child pic.twitter.com/MoGIe40trk

— garbae muguseless (@IdemoAna) January 17, 2017

Even if things are peachy keen in his home life, Fritz is still a tennis professional. Tennis players are almost required to be unbelievably selfish with their time and schedules. Taylor hasn't taken a tournament off since the birth of his son, so maybe he really hasn't had much time to see him. Fritz already banked $121,170 in prize money this year, so the baby will be well-fed at the very least and maybe the money is worth the sacrifice of not being a hands-on dad to their son for Taylor and Racquel.

(Footnote: Fritz lost his third round match today against Malek Jaziri.)

Kick Rocks, John Isner

#GodBlessAmerica

— John Isner (@JohnIsner) January 20, 2017

Fuck you, John Isner.
Fuck your boring, ill-fitting kits.
Fuck your equally boring tennis.
Fuck your serve.
Fuck you for beating Nicolas Mahut at Wimbledon.
Fuck your respectability politics.
Fuck your privilege.
Fuck your self-centered, underachieving, lumbering, saggy ass.
Fuck your inability to empathize with anyone who isn't a straight, white, cis-gender male.
Fuck your Twitter account.
Fuck the Carolina Panthers.
Fuck this notion that you voted for the best candidate and not for a pussy-grabbing, racist, sexist pathological liar in a dusty wig.
Fuck everyone who roots for you.
Fuck your whole family, Jizzner.

While I'm at it: fuck you, Tennys Sandgren. Fuck you, CoCo Vandeweghe. Fuck you, Sam Querrey.

And fuck you forever, Ryan Harrison.

Mind Games

Roland Garros is underway and the big story (once again) is Novak Djokovic's quest to complete the Career Slam. An inaugural title run in Paris would be made extra special as Novak would also hold all four major titles, a feat he can completely call his own when compared to his legendary contemporaries in Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal. As it has been for the last several years, there will be a lot of eyes and tons of pressure on Novak to finally check this last Grand Slam box.

All vodka, no soda | BusinessInsider.com

The lead-up to this year's French Open has not been a particularly glowing one for Nole. He was lackadaisical and mostly listless in his stunning defeat at the hands of Jiri Vesely in Monte Carlo, and though he won Madrid relatively free of great drama, he was cantankerous and, at times, downright volatile throughout his entire Rome campaign and went down rather meekly, if not quietly, to a now formidable clay court threat in Andy Murray. 

After the uproar regarding his behavior at the Italian Open calmed down, questions about the state of the World No. 1 began to surface. Was the unbreakable Djokovic cracked? Are the yet-to-be-exorcised demons of previous French Opens rearing their heads to terrorize Novak during this most critical juncture of his season?

We can't really answer those queries until we see him play under pressure in Paris. For the time being, however, let's consider these:

1. Novak Djokovic is well-aware of what is at stake at Roland Garros. He's been through this many times at this point. Anxiety is nearly the only emotion he knows when it comes to this damn tournament, meaning he is well-aware of how to navigate his feelings.
2. Novak understands that he cannot come to Paris with any negative energy. Mental preparation is an edge he has over everyone else in the game today. I would bet that he purposely attempted to leave all his doubts, fears, and worries at the Foro Italico so he is able to arrive at the French Open with clarity.
3. Novak is still, far and away, the best player on the planet. When he is playing well, there isn't anyone who can touch him. Rafa can attest to that given their match in Doha. Andy experienced peak Nole for a set in Melbourne. They know that they must bring their absolute best and hope that Djokovic is suboptimal when he faces either one of them. Granted, both Nadal and Murray are playing better tennis than they were in January, but Novak should feel comfort in knowing he has beaten both in succession here in Paris last year (and he must be further comforted knowing there won't be another match after should he pull off the feat again this year!).
4. Most relevant of all in my opinion, Novak has a really good draw. He easily dispatched Rendy Lu in the first round, and the rest of his path seems quite unobstructed through to the semifinals. If all goes accordingly, he should find himself in the final weekend with plenty of physical and mental gas left in the tank.

Every year something happens to Novak in this damn tournament. Whether it be losing his balance into the net on a crucial point, an unsettled stomach on finals Sunday, or unfortunately timed weather suspensions, the unknown is Djokovic's biggest threat to Roland Garros glory. Still, I have faith that, just this one time, fate will be kind to Nole throughout the entire two weeks and he will finally win this goddamn tournament. Goddamnit.

New Season's Resolutions

Happy 2016, y'all! We are 14 days into the New Year, but it's never too late to think up some New Year's Resolutions or, better yet, 2016 goals that one can strive to achieve during this revolution around the big, bright, reddish-yellow orb of which we are so dependent sun. I have a list of general goals I would like to achieve this year (e.g. read more books), but I also have a couple of tennis-related items that would make me a better fan this year and in the years to come:

Resolution: never miss the drama
(Daily Mail | @WTAreactions)

• Organize Twitter - I deeply apologize for invading your mentions with quizzical notifications about being added to some random list, but one of my goals for the past few years was to organize my timeline and I'm forcing myself to get around to it this year. Parsing out certain segments of Tennis Twitter is already realizing benefits: I can get the latest goings on of Novak Djokovic and enjoy the Nole love bubble on one list, see what the journos are reporting on another, and curate the fun tweets from my favorite Tweeters without having to sift through the TL hay to find those lovely needles. I also find myself on Twitter less now that I know I can always go back and find the important tweets that I may have missed.
• Plan sleep - This is especially important this Australia swing for those of us in the States and Europe. FOMO is a major pandemic within the hardcore tennis fan community. With most tennis throughout the year playing outside of my timezone, I often find myself staying up until WTF o'clock in the morning or waking at ungodly hours to watch the matches I have circled on the Order of Play. None of this is good for my day-to-day life. Instead of getting involved in a marathon of matches, I need to pick my spots and understand that I'm just not gonna catch everything. Whatever I do miss, I can get a succinct recap by consulting one of my lists!
• Watch more challengers/juniors - Since streams are available for the ATP Challenger Tour and certain USTA junior events, I have little excuses to ignore this echelon of the sport. I've been spoiled by high-quality tennis from some of my favs, so this may be a difficult one for me to follow through on. Still, it would be beneficial to keep track of the young or obsolete talents at the lower levels of the game just to say "I saw them first" when they breakout on the main stage of the tour.

What tennis resolutions do you have this year? Let me know with a comment or a tweet! Hope you're all ready for the Australian Open - should be crazy.

(p.s. Year of the Gentleman is still a tough album, so underrated.)