Bernie the Bored

Bernard Tomic is back in the headlines again, and not for his tennis. Again. Well, his tennis has a minor role in his resurgence into public consciousness, but his words, as usual, are the primary culprits in this new wave of outcry and backlash.

After his first-round Wimbledon loss to Mischa Zverev in straight sets, Tomic aired his feelings regarding his performance to the world, telling reporters he was "bored" on court. Moving past the cringe-worthy word choice, listen to (most of) the rest of his weirdly introspective and existential post-loss press:



Listen, I get it. Bernie is a human being, a pragmatic 24-year-old individual in the midst of a career crisis. I was once his age, not sure where my career was going, wondering if the daily grind on the road to success was even worth the struggle. Hell, I'm still there! I can understand that he no longer sees Wimbledon as this holy grail that us common tennis folk revere beyond anything else in the sport. To Bernie, The Championships is just another tournament in which to earn a decent paycheck. Like your performance review, it's on your calendar year after year. Unless you go into Wimbledon with a shot at the title, the magic of the place has probably long dissipated and you naturally tune out of the whole spectacle.

On the other hand, I do not get, nor do I accept, his willful throwing of the towel. Bernard Tomic has been blessed with height, coordination, feel, and frame. He has been granted financial support and various opportunities in his life and profession. This amount of luck only comes to a handful of the global population, yet he goes through the motions as if he's working a 9-to-5 desk job just to pay the bills and treat himself every now and then (even though that's also something to be thankful for!). Tomic has been a professional athlete for quite some time now and he must know that saying he's bored, and playing like he couldn't care less, is just not a good look for someone who, although faces trials and tribulations, is blessed beyond measure.

As much as we want to relate to tennis players and their lives, we are not them. They are not us. Bernie's job is not my job. Bernie lives a mostly charmed life, even relative to his fellow tennis pros. He's paid quite handsomely for someone who's bored at work and can retire at 35 and not work another day in his life, according to him. I appreciate his honesty and introspection, but I roll my eyes at the utter lack of gratitude and awareness of just how goddamn lucky he is to be born with a money-generating talent and to have that talent cultivated from a young age onward.

It seems as though Bernie knows where he's going astray, however. He knows he's not training as hard or giving his total focus to his career. He could, and should, do better. Yes, he is unlikely to win a Grand Slam title, but he could look to someone like Tomas Berdych for some light inspiration. Berdych is seen as a total underachiever with few trophies to his name, but he's made so much bank in his career by getting as close to maximizing his God-given talent as he could. The seemingly disenchanted Tomic can do the same, if only to beef up his 401K. If Tomic tried harder, even if he didn't want to win titles, he would make more money more quickly, and can retire even earlier than originally planned! I just pray he doesn't get injured or else he might have to page through the classifieds ten years from now.

Edit: Tomic has since been fined $15,000 for unsportsmanlike conduct stemming from his comments. He has also been dropped by his racquet sponsor, Head.

Parent Trapped

Young American and ATP #NextGen elite, Taylor Fritz, scored the biggest win of his barely-off-the-ground career, beating No. 7 Marin Cilic (who's been riding the struggle bus as of late) at Indian Wells on Sunday night. I was sound asleep when this happened and missed the post-match chatter on Twitter, but it was certainly abuzz throughout the weekend after 19-year-old Fritz revealed on Friday how his personal life milestones have, or have not, affected his tennis. 

Well, that's one take on parenthood I guess. pic.twitter.com/ikjt8hjluc

— Matt Trollope (@MattyAT) March 11, 2017

Well then. What was supposed to be, I assume, a cute miscellaneous question about being a recent first-time parent turned into how none of it has affected his tennis whatsoever. I won't lie: I initially balked at Fritz's absentee approach to fatherhood. The quotes as a standalone are astonishing, to put it kindly. He lumped in his new baby, a human being for whom he is responsible, in with the "off-court stuff" that his wife takes care of on his behalf. He quotes read as if he is unnaturally detached from his son. 

That said, I do want to caution being overly critical of Taylor, at least for the time being. I'm one of the last people to defend a straight, white, male American tennis player, but Fritz is 19 years old. Nineteen. He is a boy, legality be damned. A boy with very adult responsibilities. Adult responsibilities he's had very little time to prepare for. Let's look at this rough timeline:

1. May 30, 2016: gets engaged to girlfriend, fellow tennis player Racquel Pedraza
2. July 7, 2016(!): Fritz and Pedraza are wed in California
3. January 20, 2017(!!): Fritz and Pedraza welcome newborn son

That's a lot for anyone of any age to handle, let alone for someone who still can't purchase a Bud Light. It's a peculiar sequence of events in such short succession. Also peculiar is the lack of tweets about the new baby from Taylor or Racquel. No one can possibly know what the deal is with the Fritz family, and that's why I'm going to refrain from much comment outside of the hilarious tweet below.

Taylor Fritz raising his child pic.twitter.com/MoGIe40trk

— garbae muguseless (@IdemoAna) January 17, 2017

Even if things are peachy keen in his home life, Fritz is still a tennis professional. Tennis players are almost required to be unbelievably selfish with their time and schedules. Taylor hasn't taken a tournament off since the birth of his son, so maybe he really hasn't had much time to see him. Fritz already banked $121,170 in prize money this year, so the baby will be well-fed at the very least and maybe the money is worth the sacrifice of not being a hands-on dad to their son for Taylor and Racquel.

(Footnote: Fritz lost his third round match today against Malek Jaziri.)

Kick Rocks, John Isner

#GodBlessAmerica

— John Isner (@JohnIsner) January 20, 2017

Fuck you, John Isner.
Fuck your boring, ill-fitting kits.
Fuck your equally boring tennis.
Fuck your serve.
Fuck you for beating Nicolas Mahut at Wimbledon.
Fuck your respectability politics.
Fuck your privilege.
Fuck your self-centered, underachieving, lumbering, saggy ass.
Fuck your inability to empathize with anyone who isn't a straight, white, cis-gender male.
Fuck your Twitter account.
Fuck the Carolina Panthers.
Fuck this notion that you voted for the best candidate and not for a pussy-grabbing, racist, sexist pathological liar in a dusty wig.
Fuck everyone who roots for you.
Fuck your whole family, Jizzner.

While I'm at it: fuck you, Tennys Sandgren. Fuck you, CoCo Vandeweghe. Fuck you, Sam Querrey.

And fuck you forever, Ryan Harrison.