This post has been percolating for well over a year, but due to busyness, laziness, and a little fear of criticism, I've let these thoughts swirl exclusively in my mind and nowhere else. Until this tweet:
Happy New Year! Wishing you all health, love & joy in every moment & may you feel love & respect towards all beings on this wonderful planet.
— Novak Djokovic (@DjokerNole) January 4, 2022
I’ve spent fantastic quality time with loved ones over break & today I’m heading Down Under with an exemption permission. Let’s go 2022! pic.twitter.com/e688iSO2d4
"Oh boy, here we go..." was my first reaction. Naturally, all hell broke loose very shortly after.
By now, we are all aware of the international crisis that is Novak Djokovic's visa status and quasi-confinement shortly after touching down in Melbourne, putting his Australian Open campaign in grave danger and at the hands of the Australian Border Force, who seem determined to turn him away at the literal gate. Tennis Australia has mishandled completely botched the exemption process by not communicating honestly with players and attempting to skirt federal authorities, although it is becoming increasingly apparent that Novak and AO Tournament Director Craig Tiley were in cahoots. Politicians in the country see the Djokovic drama as easy pickings for cheap PR points. Australian media has used this story as ratings fodder, understandably so. It's all about Novak right now Down Under. But I will use this space to make it about ME.
I became a fan in 2007. I wasn't following tennis super closely at the time, but I thought Djokovic’s runs to the Rogers Cup title and US Open final that year were incredibly impressive. I also found him entertaining in the way buttoned-up Roger Federer and by-the-book Rafael Nadal weren't. He wears his heart on his sleeve when he plays and, juxtaposed with his technically pristine play style, I gravitated towards him, the first male tennis player I really, really enjoyed, probably ever.
As his star rose and achievements mounted, along came some unsavory... happenings. Some small and petty enough to disregard completely. Some more significant in which I either acknowledged his recklessness privately or played the role of Novak apologist on Twitter. Recently, the incidents are of such consequence that I’d wish he’d just go away for awhile and only show his face on the tennis court, wanting him to shut up and dribble in the truest sense. Should I even be cheering for him between the lines at this point?
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Jessica Luther and Kavitha A. Davidson wrote a book that talks sports fandom, personal politics, and reconciling what it means to be caught in the middle of those two pillars. What do you do with a problematic fave or when your fave does a problematic thing? I’ve learned that it really depends on each person’s tolerance for any specific wrongdoing. Each person has their own scale and can weigh the good and the bad at their own discretion. You can apply your code of ethics how you want, with varying levels of severity, with whatever metrics you choose. You are your own judge, jury, and executioner, and it only has to make sense to you.
As far as my own fandom as it pertains to Novak, I guess it’s still evolving because I did like him. Still do. I think. It’s complicated. I like him most when he's playing or being charitable, and I like him least when he's embroiled in scandal. I definitely do not like him at the moment. I think I’ve landed in a place where I still want him to play, win, and achieve, but I have offloaded all emotional investment in his future after tennis. This is subject to change, of course. Maybe I’ll never root for him on the court again, though I don’t foresee a time where I’ll ever actively root against him.
Back when I was closer to “stan” level, I would’ve wished him the best life outside the court, kept up with his post-tennis pursuits, and hoped a statue of his liking was erected in the heart of Belgrade. It is natural for vestiges of "standom" to linger and it's probably the reason why I have yet to give him the total chop. I’ve outgrown stanning anyone not named Mariah Carey these days (it begins and ends with her!), so I won’t be too affected if and when Djokovic’s legacy is completely tarnished following this unnecessary mess.
But I’m still sad about this mess. To be clear, not sad for Novak: he is a very rich and successful person with an adoring family and following who will remain a very rich and successful person with an adoring family and following when this week is a mere speck in the rear-view window. I am sad for me, as I was looking forward to watching him go for history at his best tournament. I am sad that I just want him to leave Australia, go home, apologize, hide for a few months, and learn SOMETHING from this embarrassment (fat chance). I am sad for his other fans — some of whom I've gotten to know and most of whom are decent people — who enjoyed watching him play and likely won’t get to. And I am sad he is too brainless and hubristic to get a virtually harmless jab that would have avoided all of this.
