Thursday, September 13, 2018

Serena's Burden

What could it take for me to resurrect a blog and post for the first time in well over a year? Well, only one of the most controversial Grand Slam finals in history.

To very briefly summarize what made Saturday's match into Monday's headlines: Naomi Osaka, 20-year-old rising star, and Serena Williams, the greatest to ever play, were entrenched in a battle for the U.S. Open title. The first set was very much one-way traffic in Osaka's favor, but the second set was a significantly more contested affair. Unfortunately, what could have been a scintillating tussle on the court was heavily marred initially by a code violation warning for coaching given to Team Williams (quick aside: Patrick Mouratoglou's lack of subtlety alone should be a fireable offense). A break advantage to Williams was immediately offset by a poor service game, provoking a racquet smash in frustration and earning Serena another code violation - this time docking her a point in the next game. Furious with umpire Carlos Ramos over the first one, Serena repeatedly badgered the chair, culminating in calling him a "liar" and a "thief." While not exactly the world's most offensive insults one can levy against another, any disparagement on the integrity of an official is considered verbal abuse. Serena, down 3-4*, earned her third code violation and incurred a game penalty.

It was a heartbreaking catastrophe. Serena, in tears as she appealed to U.S. Open tournament referee Brian Early, looking utterly despondent. Naomi, confused at the circumstances, trying to remain focused amidst the chaos. Ramos, unmoved and unreadable, remained firm in his rulings. I've never seen a match quite like it, and my eyes were wet with emotion from the moment Osaka sealed her victory all the way through the end of the trophy ceremony. As murky as the circumstances were, there was no disputing that the better player won that day, one of the only undeniables in an ocean of ambiguity. I came away from that match going over what-if scenarios, thinking of Osaka's toughness, Ramos's rigidness, Serena's inability to get out of the weeds, causing her normally rock solid mentality to crumble under the weight of enormous expectation.

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As we learned from her eponymous documentary, being Serena Williams is incredibly challenging. Tending to a young toddler, managing a long-distance marriage, and returning to the top of a demanding sport are difficult enough endeavors on their own. Imagine doing all three while also being the pillar of strength for black women around the world and working moms everywhere. I do not envy Serena's position one bit.

One of Billie Jean King's signature quotes is "pressure is a privilege." Serena often goes back to this whenever she feels bogged down the weight of expectation. But in the most critical match of her current comeback, you can feel that weight pressing down on her more than usual. Serena absolutely wants this, she wants to erase Margaret Court from the record books, be one of the few moms to win a major title. She alluded to her motherhood during her runner-up speech after the Wimbledon final back in July, tearing up when she mentioned trying to win this "for all the moms out there." While arguing her coaching violation with Ramos, she said she would never want her daughter to think she would ever resort to cheating in order to gain an advantage. In her protestations to Early, she brought up unequal levels scrutiny levied upon her male counterparts.

Serena is carrying these burdens on the court with her. The U.S. Open is particularly heavy given Serena's history at the tournament, so it's no wonder she became emotional at what seemed to be unfair treatment. As a fan, I hope Serena can play high stakes matches less encumbered. I want her to be able to swing freely, move beautifully, and think clearly during the most pressure-packed moments. I wish for her to remain calm through adversity and positive through patchy spells. 

Serena is a magnanimous individual, but tennis is a selfish sport by nature. It's just you and your own faculties out there, not worrying about things outside of your control, including the opponent across the net. Naomi even said she was "focusing on [her]self" throughout the dramatics of the final, ignoring the jeers from the crowd and turning her back on Serena and Ramos in order to maintain clarity. Serena said as much during her press conference: her times on court are rare "moments of peace" she has just for her. I truly wish they will be more so in the future, because there seemed to be a good deal turmoil swirling inside her head during U.S. Open final. It's still quite early in her comeback, but I look forward to an unburdened Serena smashing serves, records, and barriers as she has done throughout her entire career.



 For now, take a bow, Naomi Osaka. Here's to her future, too!